Relationship Proximity Online

Social Media is about SOCIOLOGY and PSYCHOLOGY more than TECHNOLOGY.

Proximity is defined as nearness in space, time and relationship. Some people believed that relationships built online is not that intimate in proximity, compared to the ones that are built offline and face to face.

Me?

I am on the side with people who believe that whether it is online or offline, relationships can be close in proximity.

Up to this date, I have built many relationships online. Some survived for years, some got destroyed over the year, and a few are still surviving.

I just want to share with everyone how having a friendship built online has led my life in a better, and not so better ways.

Among the earliest times I had a foreigner friend was when I was 7 or 8 years old. But of course that does not count as I met her face to face. I had engaged with online friend since I was 13 (2009). They usually come and go as I was engaging with them through a virtual chat room, Habbo (habbo.com). Then, I started engaging with the KPOP fandom and from there, my friend list expanded widely.

Among the earliest friends that I remember their names are Kyana and Shekinah.

I used to be close with Kyana, an American girl, but one day she just disappeared and no longer replied to my Line messages. Some told me she passed away on her way home from school, but who knows.

Shekinah, a Philippine girl, is still there in my Line, Kakao Talk and also Facebook. We rarely talk to each other now, but I usually see her updates on my feeds. I can say, she has grown up to an elegant lady.

I also have two friends from Maldives, Aishath Sajuwa and Nahthu Naseem. Nahthu is my age while Sajuwa is a 98 liner. Before meeting me, these two were already best of friends as they live nearby. I was only a good friend of Nahthu (or as I call her, Nasma). It took some years for me to be real close with Sajuwa due to our personal issues.

Other than USA, Maldives and Philippine, I also had friends from Sweden, Vietnam, Pakistan, India, Spain, Singapore, Indonesia. These are the countries that I am able to remember for the moment.

Of course, some friendships built online part ways after some time due to different issues. That is not an exception for friendships (or relationships) that are built offline. We part ways due to different reasons like moving to another place and conflict.

When people say friendships built online is not as close as built offline, I dare to say no. Different people have different experience as the way we approach, we carry ourselves are different.

Out of all my international friends, I am mostly close with those from Maldives, Sajuwa and Nasma. How close, people might ask. I would gladly answer as close as any of your best friends are, might even be closer. Because what we share, is not only our interest and hobbies. We share our pain. Our psychological problems. Why? Because nobody in our in real lives would give us the attention as our online friends would. We don’t need people to keep on checking on us all the time. To have people to understand the struggle you’re in, to comfort you once in a while is enough.

I honestly don’t know how to explain why and how did we get so close to the point they really wanted me to go to their wedding (which is so unfortunate because I cannot go due to my internship).

To summarise my long (and boring) blog post, I believe that just because the relationship was built online and have no face to face communication, that does not mean that they are not close in proximity. Physical proximity, yes they are far. But mental and soul, maybe very near.

Online relationships are as real as any relationships would be.